Bristol Mens 1sts at Student Cup Qualifiers 2015 (28/11/2015)

Bristol Mens 1sts at Student Cup Qualifiers 2015 (28/11/2015)

On the 28th of November 10 intrepid male Volleyballers took part in Student Cup qualifiers 2015 in Bournemouth. The day was long, games were tiring, food was varied, toilets were scarce, phones were without charge and as ever, lasting friendships were made.
Deciding to not be as careful as the Ladies 1sts, the Men decided to meet at 5.45am, leaving them an hour window within which to get lost/break down, rather than the two hours the Ladies afforded themselves. Then again, such a decision seems logical to anyone who watched Abi Wooden come astonishingly close to causing some serious damage to a McDonalds, despite only travelling at about 2mph.
As with any meeting time scheduled before 12pm, Fergus Henry Shaw was not present, having once again slept through his alarm. Perhaps something other than Radio 2 would be better as a wake up call Fergus. With Christopher ‘sass’ Sherfield demonstrating the kind of sympathy he has become synonymous with, he promptly left the job of getting Fergus to the other driver John ‘The Motivator’ House as he set off for Bournemouth without delay.
A quick phone call later that contained just the right level of threatening annoyance in the tone of voice and Fergus was picked up outside of his house, albeit barefoot and rapidly stuffing a bag full of clothes.
When a journey is scheduled for 5.45am in the morning one would feel safe assuming that it would not be eventful. In the case of Gertrude the ever reliable Volkswagen Golf this was untrue. Spurred on by a playlist so adventurous it had its own Scouts badge, the men of the hearty Golf had arguably the time of their lives. Whether it was discovering that team romancer Aidan McKay’s understanding of a simile or metaphor was horribly off kilter or the unnerve that comes with finding out that Craig ‘Ariana Grande’ Tavares-McKoy cant physically sleep in a moving vehicle and instead just closes his eyes and listens sneakily to all that is said, the men had a cracking time. Perhaps the greatest moment however was to come when Robert ‘New levels of sweat’ Pennifold phoned the Golf to suggest they stop and meet up with Sherfields car at a service station. To say there was glee in John ‘Lets go round Bath not through it’ House’s voice when he announced the Golf had already passed that service station and was thus ahead of the much better car being driven by Sherfield would be a massive understatement.
Arriving at Bournemouth the Men immediately bumped into the bleary eyed ladies team at the local M&S Garage, a choice of location that was rebuked fiercely by the thrifty duo of Shaw and Wilsher who refused to indulge in the high prices of the M&S Simply Good range and instead chose to walk down to the local Lidl where they were to buy some pretty foul tasting baked goods and a pot of pasta that would come back to haunt Shaw. But more on that later.
The Men were placed in a pool with Kent, Exeter 2nds, Oxford 1sts and Bournemouth 2nds. However Exeter decided that they would be some sneaky bananas and put their first team in as their second team, thus meaning that the Men faced an essential pool of death with 2 Premier level sides and 2 First division sides. But were they fazed? Were they heck.
Up first were the relative minnows of Kent. Starting with about as much enthusiasm as one of those self checkout assistants at Sainsburys the Men nonetheless opened up a lead over their opponents through some half hearted spiking from Captain Chris who looked about as cheerful as I did when I received a Furby for my 6th Birthday and it scared me so much I cried, (probably too much info there).  After taking the first set comfortably John ‘Life Coach’ House embarked on his first inspiring speech of the day. Imploring the troops to push harder and up the intensity as after all ‘you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take’, Bristol came out for the second set with slightly more enthusiasm. NB Enthusiasm was still relatively low. However, with Kent not offering much in terms of resistance to the float serves of Pennifold, House, Wilsher and Sherfield it soon became a formality as Bristol walked away with the 2-0 victory.
As the Men sat down to watch Oxford take on Exeter their enthusiasm soon picked up. Witnessing what was a very good game of Volleyball, Middles House and Wilsher could be seen with beaming smiles across their faces as it became apparent for the first time this year they would actually face a middle who could rival them in terms of height and hitting. (I say rival, he was better than us but still). Thus when it came to play Exeter 1sts the Men were absolutely raring to go.
As the set began it became clear to the previously nonchalant Premier Exeter side that Bristol were not going to lie down. Anyone who was witness to this game will testify as to the phenomenal volleyball the men played. Craig ‘Bette Midler’ Tavares-McKoy served and spiked brilliantly, consistently finding the gaps in the Exeter defence. Rob ‘Amazon River’ Pennifold meanwhile was setting with pin point accuracy, finding every player at will, working beautifully with Wilsher and House through the middle. Chris ‘Hunchback of Notre Dame’ Sherfield galvanised the team at every opportunity, pushing them to raise their game whilst proving his own worth through a number of corking hits backed up as ever by his nonchalant passing. Plinio ‘thumbs’ Zanini meanwhile erected his own wall at 2, blocking attack after attack from the Exeter outside. As for Justin, he was everywhere at once, a man possessed by an uncoordinated, unnatural passing demon, unstoppable in defence he kept the ball alive at all times.
The Men were on a roll.
The turning point however came from the man with the worst facial hair to ever grace Bournemouth. Having been brought on purely to serve and looking like that 13 year old at School who matured way before everyone else in his year, Fergus Henry Shaw was unbelievable. Pulling out float serve after float serve, pass after pass, and even a glorious back court spike, Shaw gave the Bristol team an unassailable lead as they took the first set 25-20.
Helped by the smart words of Coach Lorenzo who the men had secured on loan for the game, they started the second set as they ended the first. John ‘If you don’t climb the mountain you cant see the view’ House ran a shoot straight out of heaven slamming the ball down with unrecognisable ferocity, before then running one so dogged and awful it caused groans from all as he cannoned the ball out the back of the court. Special mention meanwhile to Plinio, who, seeing the high level of his opponents decided to roll back the years and crack out the underarm serve. What a ballsy man. Talk about backing yourself. As Exeter improved however the men felt the pressure and at 20-20 called a timeout, knowing one more point guaranteed the victory. Putting on his headset and baseball cap, John ‘Playmaker’ House organised the team telling Pennifold that he would draw the middle block so he could set a quick ball to outside Sherfield who would then kill the ball against one block. And what did they do? Exactly that. Utterly brilliant. (Is my pride about this game coming through? Probably.)
With that in the bank it was just a formality as Bristol took the set 27-25 and the game 2-0.
The in between times saw Fergus come a cropper thanks to the aforementioned Pasta as it exploded with all its chicken tikka goodness into his bag, covering everything from his clothes to his cinnamon bun. Not to be deterred and never one to waste anything, Fergus swept up the Pasta back into the pot and consumed it heartily, remarking that ‘It tastes a bit like floor’. Lovely.
The Mens next game was against Oxford 1sts, a team with a fantastic array of players. As ever Justin ‘twinkletoes’ Hui took it upon himself to keep Bristol in the game, using his unique abilities to recover the majority of the Oxford hits. With Pennifold setting well, and Matt ‘100%’ Birch even coming on to unleash a fierce spike, the Men stayed with Oxford the whole way, succumbing to a 25-20 loss in each set.
Nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes you have to accept a team is better than you, and after the herculean effort against Exeter this was always going to be tricky.
For anyone on the Mens team 12 months ago, the thought of the final game against Bournemouth filled them with dread. For it was a year ago that the Men could do nothing but watch as Liverpool beat them in the final game, with Bristol having nothing left in the tank. Thus it was that 7 weary men entered the court for the final game.
I say 7 weary men. 6 weary men, and the sassiest player to ever grace the court, Mr Christopher Sherfield.
At 16-11 to Bristol, the Bournemouth setter injured his foot and had to leave the court. However having already been subbed on and off he could not be replaced again. This Bristol had no problem with, they were happy to accept the injury. However, Bournemouth then tried to change their Libero to the setter, which is not within the rules. Protesting this quite rightly Bristol were awarded the set as a walkover. With the delightful Bournemouth coach visiting Chris on court and calling him some very kind names, Chris might as well have responded with a flick of his hair and click of his fingers as he dismissed the Bournemouth coach with the confidence of Beyonce. The decision however, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth by the Bournemouth coach, who remains firmly up the rear of Volleyball England it seems, was turned over.
Bournemouth understandably came back stronger, however Bristol were too much of a match for them and took the first set 25-20.
Falling behind 18-12 in the second set however, Bristol feared the worst. Energy was low and it wasn’t looking good. Step up Messrs Sherfield and Tavares-McKoy. With Middle House pretending to be selfless (but in reality being too tired to hit) by telling Pennifold to set outside, the two juggernauts at outside took on the challenge and smashed it home. Bristol won the set 25-20 and all was right with the world.
With 3 wins from 4 in what was a pool of death the Men had an absolutely cracking day and did all they can to get through to the next round.
Positives aplenty to take forward. It was one hell of a day and all who attended came back with the biggest of smiles on their faces. Apart from Craig. He was really tired.
Man of the Tournament – Without any doubt – Justin Hui. Unbelievable sir.
Mens 1sts Student Cup
Written by: John House


Student Cup 2014 Men

Student Cup 2014 Men

Match Report

What. A. Day.

On the 16th November 10 plucky Volleyball Men and one enigmatic coach took the monumental journey down to Kettering to play in the student cup. Meeting at the ungodly hour of 5am and not returning until 11pm, the troops were to travel in one of two cars, the nippy Golf driven by Captain John ‘Lewis Hamilton’ House, where music choice was superb and leg room limited or in the lumbersome Focus of Chris ‘Nico Rosberg’ Sherfield, where the music was of the Taylor variety and conversation undoubtedly more mature.

Two cars. Two very different experiences. (Nothing to do with Volleyball, but got to set the scene).

First the Golf. The two journeys were stupendous. On the outward journey Jacob ‘Build me up Buttercup’ Webster took to the decks, ably supported by Rob ‘Grandad’ Pennifold, playing a number of outrageous hits from across the 70’s and 80’s, or in Rob’s case – His Childhood. Whilst Captain House did at times call for ‘Drivers Prerogative’ and play some astounding tunes such as the Lord of The Rings soundtrack (#inspiring), the men saw in the morning with no cares in the world. In the back of the car, Justin ‘Ebeneezer Snooze’ Hui and Duncan ‘One Man Party’ McCabe provided just the kind of controlled, seated dancing that they have become synonymous with. Despite shouts of ‘Jesus take the wheel’ when Captain House needed to remove a layer due to the rising heat of the car, a hastily eaten peanut butter sandwich and a couple of very wrong turnings, the men arrived safely and enthused. The return journey meanwhile saw a change on the decks, fresh from his journey North, Mike ‘Motown’ Wilsher provided the car with a wonderful playlist to lift spirits, whilst McCabe and Webster routinely updated the latest NFL scores at the sight of any internet signal. As for Justin, in what came as a shock to nobody, he slept.

Having been viciously chastised for not accounting for the details of the other car in previous reports, this one will be different. Whilst based on speculation and rumour, this is the events of Pippa the Focus. Whilst having the team coach in the car might suggest a serious undertone, the Focus was nothing short of a raucous early morning party. Fuelled by a seemingly endless supply of delicious blueberry muffins baked to perfection by Coach Danielle ‘Saxophone’ Simpson, the car was powered along not just by fuel, but also the dulcet tones of Taylor Swift. Whilst the music was vital, it was overshadowed by a more important conversation; with his impending departure, Tim ‘just have fun’ Ballard clearly felt the need to impart his teachings on the social dating app Tinder. Whilst before they entered the car the inhabitants were mere mortals within the dating game, they emerged new, revitalised ‘Swipe Righters’, their profiles adjusted to pin-point accuracy by Tim, with photos re-ordered, bios updated and matches flooding in. Unfortunately for one Pawel Laskowski, these moments of pure wisdom were missed, as despite adamantly stating he wouldn’t sleep, he was out before the engine was turned on.

I should probably talk about Volleyball now.

Due to the sheer number of games, the matches were only 2 sets long, with the overall points scored coming into account should both sides win one set.

The men’s first game of the day was against Oxford 1sts, a very strong side playing in a higher league. Undeterred, the men took to the court with a vivacious energy that blew away Oxford, taking a 5-0 lead before the Oxford men took a much needed timeout. Such was the arrogance of the Bristol side that Mike Wilsher at one point decided, that contrary to popular belief, hands were overrated, and thus instead blocked the Oxford hit with his face. Whilst Oxford did manage to fight back in the first set, eventually running out with 25-21 win, Bristol were undeterred. Pawel ‘Sugar Free’ Laskowski was superb, playing with the kind of relaxed self-belief that his fans know and love. Giving it their all, Bristol raised the intensity massively and walked all over their Oxford counterparts, taking a 25-14 win. Thus it was that Bristol took a win from their first game.

MOM – Tim Ballard

The Wilsher Family Meal
The Wilsher Family Meal

The break between games saw a number of obviously notable moments. Firstly Mike, supported by his dedicated parents throughout the day, took time to engage in a family meal, assumedly to discuss something Northern, like how gravy really can go with anything. Meanwhile House and Webster took great amusement in the other games occurring around the sports centre, particularly the Cambridge team, whose talisman Frank will long stay in our hearts. The team also had to referee a game, leading to a ‘flamboyance competition’ between line judges; McCabe, sticking with his critically acclaimed rigid style, taking the victory in this case, over Webster’s overtly dramatic lunge style.

The Men’s second game was against Newcastle Under Lyme, a very well drilled team. The Bristol men however were unfazed with Duncan hitting well through opposite, an effort only improved by the fact that his movember effort made him look like a 1970’s soft porn star. With the men keeping up the high intensity that the other teams just couldn’t handle they approached the end of the set with a 23-18 lead. After losing two points, Coach Simpson decided change was needed and decided to remove the emotional hub of the team that is Captain House, a decision that may have slightly annoyed that particular player. However, an immediate apology was offered when super sub Webster emphatically roofed the next Newcastle hit before then running a brilliant middle which gave the men the set at 25-20.

Danielle, I bow to your genius.

The next set was a similar affair, with Webster retaining his place on court and conducting the show like it was a BBC night at the Proms. Newcastle never stood a chance, with Justin ‘Sleeping Beaut-hui’ Hui, picking up every attack they attempted. Despite one exuberant attack resulting in Pawel ‘The Hitman’ Laskowski inadvertently punching Mike in the face, the men took the set 25-22 and thus once again – The Game.

MOM – Jacob Webster

The next break in games saw exhaustion kick in as many players grabbed their 40 winks wherever they could. As ever however, Webster and House took the chance to observe human life, noting with some displeasure the very public Tonsil Tennis played by Oxford’s number 20 ‘Du Plessis’ with what was assumedly his other half. If it wasn’t, fair play to the man. Meanwhile, Father Wilsher (Mikes Dad, not the team Chaplain), there to watch his son’s valiant efforts, came a cropper to a game on the opposing court, as the players ploughed through his chair. In completely untypical Wilsher fashion however he was able to brush it off, as the Bristol players assured a visibly concerned Michael that it was ‘merely a flesh wound’. Despite further drama in the form of Sherfield being almost taken out from atop his referee’s chair and Jacob’s head gracefully nuzzling Danielle’s rear in a moment that I feel needs no further description, the Men were ready for the next game.

Alternative Rigid Sleeping Style
Showing a bit of flesh – Cheeky.
Without doubt listening to self help audio books. ‘You’re a Strong Confident Woman who does not need to smoke’

The 3rd game was against Nottingham, another team from a higher division, who also were unbeaten so far in the day. Bristol knew the importance of the game and once again gave the game everything they had. Plinio ‘Slumber Buddy’ Zanini was brilliant, spiking the ball with all his body had (which turns out is quite powerful). Chris ‘I’m not writing out your nicknames’ Sherfield took his chance at setter superbly, showing great promise for the rest of the season with the accuracy of a well-trained sniper shooting at a thread being placed through a needle. The men took the first set 25-16. At this point the energy reserves of the men began to waiver and at the start of the second set Nottingham did take the lead. Fighting back excellently through both Pawel and Grandad however Bristol secured the win by getting within 2 points of Nottingham, losing the set 25-23 but once again winning the game.

MOM – Justin Hui

The lack of energy at this point makes the next part of the day a bit of a blur. At some point we reffed a game, something mildly amusing probably happened, so for now I’ll just let your imaginations run away with themselves.

Having won their first three games, Bristol could secure a place in the next round with a final win against Liverpool. Liverpool were probably Bristol’s strongest opponents of the day, with very good hitters. The men however were undaunted and roused themselves one final time to take an early substantial lead in the first set at 19-11. With Pawel singing away merrily to himself ‘Breestol la la la’ and the men coming in for a booming ‘2-3 Bristol’ after every point, confidence was high. However as Liverpool began to find their feet it became apparent the earlier herculean efforts of the men were taking their toll. Small niggles of pain from early in the day became larger and despite their best efforts the men simply had no energy left to drag themselves back into the game, a factor perhaps epitomised by the fact that every team huddle became like taking a small bath due to the back sweat levels of certain players. (I know ewwww gross). Liverpool ran out with the first set at 25-22 and the second set 25-16.

A Visibly Shaken Tim Ballard
A Visibly Shaken Tim Ballard

What this meant unfortunately was that Bristol missed out on qualification by a mere 2 points. Whilst this is disappointing I cannot overstate the effort put in by all the men throughout the day. They gave their all in every game against opposition we would have crumbled against in previous years. They played a standard of volleyball that very high level teams would be proud of. They fought back in every set and left Kettering with absolutely nothing left to give.

Coach Danielle Visibly Impressed by the Healthy Dinner

I speak for both myself and the coach Danielle when I say we are immensely proud of the efforts of each and every player. The men have hundreds of positives to take into the rest of the season and should be more than proud of themselves.

Player of the day, voted for by the team, goes to Tim Ballard for a superb day of setting.

Well done lads. We did Bristol proud.


Legends of The Game

By John House

Student Cup – Men 10/11/13

Student Cup – Men 10/11/13

Match Report

On Sunday 10th November the Men played in the Student Cup at Ashcombe in Surrey. With many of the team unavailable, due to issues varying from vomiting to a weekend spent with Mickey and pals at Disneyland, only 7 men converged at the Students’ Union building at 5.45am. Fighting back hangovers and sleep deprivation, the bus left for the almost 3 hour journey down to the tournament. Houses_serves
Arriving at 8.30, the Men discovered they were on to play first. With final squad member Wilsher, having safely negotiated the workings of inner city London transport, joined the team, the match against Brighton began. The first set was a comfortable warm up for Bristol, with Brighton making a few unforced errors that gifted points to Bristol, allowing for a 25-13 first set win. The second set was a harder affair, with Brighton finding their feet, however thanks to fantastic ‘pancaking’ from Justin Hui and serving from the ever-reliable Pawel Laskowski, Bristol won the second set 25-18 and thus the game 2-0.

The Men’s next game was against Chichester. Fuelled by Powerade, an unearthly amount of sandwiches and some ‘steer fry’, confidence was high going into the match. Again, in the first set the Men started strongly, and with good play from James Lydall and Jacob Webster, ran out 25-17 winners. Perhaps due to some over-confidence, in the second set the Men’s focus slipped and simple errors began to be made. With all 6 players missing a serve, Chichester were gifted points and pushed the set all the way until the end. Nerves were huge, but Bristol managed to win the set 27-25 and again take a 2-0 victory.

Despite securing 2 wins out of 2, the Men’s heads began to drop after the disappointing performance in the previous set. Perhaps sensing this, the absent (through no fault of her own) coach Danielle Simpson sent what can only be described as a text straight from the heart and mind of Shakespeare. With her words stirring the team emotionally, the men were ready for the next game against tough opponents – Cardiff.

The Men played much better in this game, with good setting from Mike Avery, and hitting from Scott Caddick. Despite this, the strength of Cardiff was too much and they took the first set 25-13. Bristol came back much stronger in the second set, with Wilsher getting out wide to help Lydall block off Cardiff’s main hitter. Cardiff again, however, showed their quality and had the game at 24-16, with 8 match points. To their credit, Bristol managed to pull back 4 points, showing great perseverance, before John House, set up perfectly for the middle hit, decided to spear it wide, giving Cardiff the set and the win 2-0.

Laskowski_hits  With Cardiff having now all but won qualification into the next round of the cup, Bristol knew their only chance stood with beating final team Falmouth. And after a two hour wait and a couple more sandwiches and energy drinks, Bristol woke up Justin Hui from his pitch-side slumber and started the final game. The Men were certainly tired and enthusiasm was low on court, as Falmouth began to punish Bristol’s mistakes, taking the first set 25-18. It was at this point that something within the team flipped and emerging back onto the court for the second set, Bristol were a new team. With Laskowski running round the court like a man desperate to relieve his bowels, and Hui keeping every ball hit into the Bristol side alive, Bristol opened up a healthy lead. Everything clicked into place in the final set, with every single player playing out of their skins to get the win for Bristol, which was finally secured with a 25-11 final set win.

Bristol thus took 2nd place overall on the day, which keeps the hopes of qualification for the next round alive. Well done to all of the boys on the day who got up so early and played so well throughout.

Player of the Day: Justin Hui

Written by John House, 1st Team Captain

Student Cup – Ladies 10/11/13

Student Cup – Ladies 10/11/13

Match Report

The UOB Volleyball Ladies’ First Team took to the court in Ashcombe on Sunday 10th November for the annual Student Cup qualifying round. Following an early start, we were first up against Chichester 2nd’s. Having observed them during the warm-up, we were confident we could beat them and did so in two straight sets 25-9, 25-8. With players competing for the first time in a University match, newcomers such as Ellie Harrison and Vessy Dobreva gelled instantly with the team and we worked through our rotations competently as the match played out. Impressive setting from Kahmun Hor was also vital to our first win and Coach Lorenzo Marvulli’s “praise” for the other team kept spirits high.

Next, we played the Falmouth and Exeter Ladies’ Team. We knew they would be tougher opponents and this showed in our first set defeat by 25-22. We returned to the second set with determination and high energy. With consistent blocks and serves from Catherine Wright, alongside solid hits from Lorena Bălan, we proved our worth in beating them 25-15, and again in the 3rd set 15-4 – some could say it was a “blood bath”.

thumbs_upOur final and without doubt toughest match was against Brighton University. Having continued straight on from the previous match, we remained positive and focussed, starting play confidently. We returned their tough serves and hits with purpose, but our energy started to falter and we lost the first set 15-25. LuluB Tsang’s reliable sets and serves kept us in the game and though we tried profusely to keep up energy and concentration, they beat us again 25-17. As a result, we finished 2nd in the pool; incredible considering we were missing some top hitters and worked with new combinations of players. We will have to wait and see the other pools’ results before we know if we have made it to the final.

Player Of The Day: Lorena Bălan

Written by Georgia Walker, 1st Team Captain