On Wednesday the 11th of November 2015, the Ladies’ First Team fought a long and hard battle against the fury that was Cardiff. The team warm up began with excitement and talk of the latest episode of Desperate Housewives, which was hastily shot down by Setter Cheryl “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed” Nordal who asked for more focus from the players. Following the warm up came a pep talk from stand in Coach Christopher “Triple Ripple” Sherfield, who told the team that this was going to be the battle of the century… Little did the girls know just how right, the wise and extremely handsome Coach was. This would be longer than any game they had ever played, longer than all three of the Lord of the Rings (extended editions), and even longer than Michael “Big Mike” Wilsher’s pen 15 fan club mailing list. After several big hits from Sylvia “I’m Sorry” Betrosian and the powerful blocks of Shatha “I put Kuwait on the map” Al-Huneidi, the girls were ready to take the first set as their own. Cardiff, however had different ideas and despite the girls’ best efforts the end of the set showed their Welsh counterparts as the victors, taking the set by two points at 25:23. The loss was absolutely devastating to these hard working girls, even more devastating than having to be carried home from a night out at Bunker…Despite these feeling’s the ladies shook off their loss and started getting hyphy for the next set’s adventures.
The second set gave way to the incredible Kate “Jumping just isn’t my thing” Wyver stepping into the game. Her powerful swings and strong cross court serves were no match for Cardiff. Alongside this the dream team, the magnificent marvel, the absolute abundance of awesomeness that was Jalayna “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me” Szepesi and Cheryl “Guys I just wanna go home” Nordal, were absolutely killin’ it, as Canadians do. Despite their best efforts to shut Szepesi out of the game with their impressive defense and big blocks, she continued to smash the ball onto the opposite side of the court like it was her day job. Special mention to Al-Huneidi for her incredibly consistent blocking and hitting through the middle. These spectacular players brought the second set to a close at 25:18 for Bristol, giving their little Welsh friends something to bring back to the sheep.
The third set was about to begin and tensions were high, higher than Rob “Sweaty Betty” Pennifold’s temperature during a warm up. Bristol began the set with high hopes in continuing their win, and proved that they were a team of truly hard-working and dedicated individuals. The powerhouse Al-Huneidi was given a chance to stop carrying the team and have a sip of water, while Abi “Net Touch” Wooden stepped into the game and showed Cardiff how to put the B in Bristol. Even with one of their players making a perfect pass with her foot, Cardiff was unable to cope with the Bristol fury that resulted in another set being taken 25:14. The ladies absolutely dominated in this set, thanks to the hulk of a middle Catherine “Tangy Cheese” Wright and fantastic passing from libero Karoline “I can dig that, anytime, anywhere” Antoinette Dronnen.
The Bristol Ladies could taste the victory and despite their exhaustion went into the fourth set with high spirits. These feelings of enthusiasm were slowly demolished by the Cardiff team, who clearly wasn’t going to give up yet. With strong opposite hitting from Lorena “Smack That” Balan the girls were able to score several points, but lost their momentum, which can only be blamed on the incredibly dramatic line judging by John “Olaf” House and Jacob “Tennis Knee” Webster who decided it would be fun to wave their hands in the air like they just didn’t care throughout the set. This was soon brought to a close by Christopher “The Handsome” Sherfield who politely asked them to stop, showing the girls that his dedication to their cause was truer than true. Despite these heroic actions the girls lost the set 25:15, and thus the game would be decided in the fifth and final set.
This set was full of magical moments of happiness, tears, anger and even religious callings. The ladies knew what was on the line and looked to their Coach for the game plan, which he simply told them was to win. The set did not start off as well as the team had hoped, down 7:1 their spirits were slowly being sucked out of them, as if the Cardiff team had suddenly become dementors. A time out was called and Coach Sherfield told the girls to take a break, and focus on the game ahead of them. So, the girls put aside their exhaustion and buckled up for the ride ahead. With Betrosian’s fantastic outside hitting and Al-Huneidi’s strong serving, the ladies were able to gain momentum and bring the score back up to 11:14. With the game on the line the ladies knew what the cost of one mistake would be. Another Bristol time out was called as Coach Chris-top-hair told the team the game plan, “Cheryl’s going to set Jalayna and she’s going to f”ckin’ nail it”. A simple plan, from a simple man. Stepping back onto the court the ladies felt a mix of excitement and sadness that can only be compared to that of biting into a doughnut and expecting jam, but getting custard instead. The Cardiff team took to the court and served a mean ball at Bristol, which resulted in Cheryl “Can I Just Say Something” Nordal running to position five to try and make a perfect set out to Szepesi in position two. Now you may ask yourself what are the chances of this actually happening? But let me tell you those two Canadian Polar Bears absolutely killed it! A backwards bump from Nordal straight into the waiting hand of Szepesi resulted in a blast from the past hit onto the opposite side of the court.
With this Szepesi herself was now going back to serve the ball that she had earned. A fantastic jump float resulted in yet another point, and the ladies were beginning to feel as though this might not be the end. At 13:14 the tension could have been cut with a knife, as both teams were sweating more than Plinio “Blue Towel” Zanini in the Men’s previous match that day. The ladies managed to score another two points through their fantastic game-play, which resulted in a time out on the Cardiff side. The ladies were using this break to breathe and re-fuel, Szepesi however had other ideas about how the time out should be handled. By huddling in closely Priest Szepesi gave the team a Sermon and directly channeled the power of God. The team cheered with any energy that they could muster up and stepped back onto the court. What happened next was truly magical, Szepesi’s serve floated over the Cardiff team and dropped on the back line. ACE! ACE! ACE! Bristol wins the set 16:14 due to the holy power of the heavens! No matter what the cause, the girls exploded into a spinning circle of pure joy and utter exhaustion. Christopher “I’m a man” Sherfield clearly felt he had no place in the celebrations and instead took the far better alternative of standing awkwardly beside them. Smooth dude.
Bristol Ladies remain at the top of the league, having won 4/5 of their games this season. Next week’s challenge will be a home game against the mighty Gloucestershire University.
Man of the Match: Christopher “Awesome Pants” Sherfield, for giving us great tips and game plans, which led us to a victory in the hardest game we’ve played all season. Thanks Chris, we all really appreciate it!
*Special mention to God, who really helped us out with that last point! Cheers God.
Thanks to Matteo and Rob for reffing, and to John and Jacob for line judging.
See you guys next week!
Written by: Cheryl Nordal